graduation

Calvin’s graduation was saturday.  All of my housemates graduated.  Everyone that I was a freshman with (with precious few exceptions) graduated.  They are all going to get jobs, going to grad school, going home, going going going.  I am staying.  No cap and gown for me (not this year, at any rate).  I’m not bitter [...]

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faith

“Leap….and the net will appear.”
I’m scared shitless even if i can see the net.
I need to learn to trust.  That leap of faith isn’t easy, especially when you can’t see the stong arms that you know are there to catch you.
It’s hard even though you know they are there….you just can’t see them….
It is a [...]

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worries

I am so tired of worrying about money.
I am so uneasy about finances next year.  Mostly because I don’t want to be completely broke when I graduate.  I also want to go to China with orchestra in January…my parents really don’t have money to pay for that, so I will be finding money and paying [...]

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Where am I going?

To Europe.  After I graduate.  I’ve decided.  That’s what I want to do, that’s where I want to go, and if not there, then somewhere else, but I want to travel, and I dont mind living like a poor starving musician for awhile if I am doing something that I really want to do.  So [...]

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I dont know…

1.  Whether to do the marching band thing or take composition.  Or neither.  Or both.
2.  What I am doing after I graduate.
3.  What I want to do with my life.
4.  What will happen if I make the wrong decision.
5.  Where I am going to live next year.
6.  Where I am going to store all my [...]

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music and things…

Best thing about playing modern music: you can email the composer and like, ask him/her stuff.  and they’re really excited about talking to you.  Because you’re playing their music, and I mean, that’s what they want.
I just emailed the composer of a concerto i would like to play…apparently he hasn’t finished writing the piano reduction [...]

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