Christmas?

Christmas used to make me really really excited.  You know, when I was a kid, and we would go looking at chirstmas lights in the car, and sing christmas carols in church, and I got all these great presents, and it was so much fun.  It was always slightly disappointing when all the presents under the tree were unwrapped, but then I had all this new stuff to play with…

Over the years I realized that my greater joy came when others unwrapped the gifts that i had given them.  If they liked them, that is.  I began to love the giving part more than the getting part.  Even the going-to-modesto-and-having-a-HUGE-meal part was better than the getting part, really.  I loved going to my grandparents house and making good food….and eating on placemats (although others begrudged this part a little, I found out later, it was always fun for my brothers and I.  Like something fancy we weren’t used to).

Christmas still means a lot to me, but now it’s more just being home.  I love baking christmas things with my mom (although it gets to be a little much when you do it all in one day…), and I love singing christmas carols, and giving presents to other people.  I love getting presents still…but not like i did when i was a kid.  I just don’t really care all that much about stuff.  I try to think of things i need now, instead of things i want, which i usually wouldnt want my parents to pick out for me anyway.  But there’s not really a whole lot in either category.  I am extremely blessed.  I guess I also feel like gifts mean more if it is something that someone thought of for you, rather than them going and buying something you told them to buy.  That makes it harder, I know…but if you can pull it off it’s so much better.

But what does any of this really have to do with christmas?

Where is Jesus?

I have this feeling sneaking up on me that one day I am just going to have to skip out on the whole christmas holiday, and actually celebrate it for what it is.  Celebrate Jesus.  Give to those who are actually in need.  Cook for those who are actually hungry.  Be Jesus to people, not just give stuff to my family and friends.  I can’t help but feel that this holiday turns every follower of Jesus into a hypocrite, because we turn inward (what do i want for christmas?), and even our outward motion is directed mostly toward family and friends, many of whom, in my case at least, dont really need much of anything (what about the poor, the homeless, the people who are starving for a decent meal, or can’t afford a heavy enough coat to keep from shivering whenever they go outside?).

I just feel like we’re not really celebrating Christ when we celebrate Christmas.  We’re celebrating stuff.  And more stuff.  Stuff we want.  Stuff we have to give to other people.  I think I just want to go somewhere and love people for christmas, cook them a meal when they wouldn’t otherwise have one, and give them what few small comforts I can afford to, and tell them about Jesus.  And hopefully love them like Jesus, too.