A concerto, Halloween, and other things

So thursday was the concerto competition.  If you are not aware of how this works, it’s when a bunch of people at calvin audition or compete (or whatever you want to call it) for the opportunity to play a concerto (or movement thereof) with the orchestra in a concert.  There are usually 4 or 5 winners, depending on how many compedators there are.  I took part in this competition, playing the first movement of the Indigo Concerto by Efrain Amaya.  It’s a new piece…didn’t actually have a piano reduction to the orchestral score until, oh, about 3 weeks ago.  Which made for fun times for me and Gwen putting it together.  But SOMEHOW we managed it….and i’m one of the winners!!!!  EXCITEMENT!!!!!  This is absolutely incredible in my mind.  I am going to play a concerto…with an orcehstra.  Of course, come december, I will be a giant ball of stress because of it.  But it will still be an amazing thing to do.

Today is halloween.  Hallie and I stayed home and were going to hand out candy to trick or treaters.  Two things have kind of dampened the evening.  The first is that I am sick…which started on thursday (which makes the whole concerto thing really kind of a miracle), and I don’t feel terrible, I just get really tired really fast whenever I try to get up and do anything.  And I cough a lot.  And I’ve lost my voice pretty bad.  Anyway, the other thing that kind of killed the evening is that we didn’t actually get any trick or treaters.  Lame!  Oh well.  We’re watching young frankenstein right now, which is definitely one of my favorites (and one of the few mel brooks movies that i really like).  So…its a good time anyway.  I’m sure I’ll go to bed ridiculously early again…and be lame…but on the bright side, I’ll get an extra hour of sleep tonight…

In other news, this coming week is going to be insane again, as well as next weekend.  I am praying that my health is back to normal by monday, or tuesday at the latest, and that I can get all my homework and stuff done before that.  Concerts and more concerts.  But after next weekend I’ll have much more of a break.  Thankfully.  there’s also the matter of thanksgiving…got to figure out what I’m doing there.  I’ll probably stick around…so I can work…but I haven’t really given it much thought.  I probably won’t until after next weekend.

Mmmmmok, I think i’m done now.  happy halloween!

where the wild things are

I liked the movie a lot.

Yes, it was different than the book.  Of course it was.  The book takes all of a minute and a half to read, and that’s if you take a decent amount of time looking at the pictures.  I don’t want to say there’s nothing to it (because that’s not true), but it is very short.  There’s enough implied, enough to get your imagination going…but…well, that’s what you have to do in making a movie i guess as well.  read the book, and just let it get your imagination going.

It was like being inside the mind of a child.  There was no lack of complexity, no lack of depth.  There was a lot of depth, actually.  Kids have that, you know.  we don’t give them credit for it most of the time, but oh man, they’ve got it.  Just because they use their imaginations, because they travel to lands of their own making on a regular basis, because they react without thinking at times, because they say things which follow a very logical path, and make perfect sense, only because they have not yet experienced the vital piece of information that would denounce what they have said….because of this, adults (and oh, do we do think we are high and mighty, old and wise, make no mistake) look down at the child who says and does such things, smile a little to themselves, give the kid a nice little pat on the head, and move on with their lives.  But there is depth.  There is SO much depth in simplicity and childlike imagination.

the movie was deep in a lot of ways.  Max is like any other kid in the world.  He has a moody teenage sister, his parents are divorced, he loses his temper and regrets it the moment after, his mom makes frozen corn even though he doesn’t like it.  It’s no fairy tale, it’s life.  So he goes to where the wild things are…there are complexities there too.  It doesn’t go away.  Even in his escape, reality raises its ugly head, and he learns from it.  But there was so much in the movie that was just….child like.  Things he said.  things that happened.  It was all….I was in 3rd grade again running around on a playground, or playing make-believe sorts of things with friends.  Real life is there…but there’s this quality of imagination and fun that can suddenly turn everything around.  It doesn’t distinguish itself completely from reality either…it’s all kind of intertwined.

In the end…I just always want to find joy in little things.  Like playgrounds.  And tire swings.  I want to be the grandma that goes to the park with her grandkids and crawls around in the small spaces as much as my body will allow, and not just push kids on swings but swing on them myself.  I don’t want to be consumed by the adult world and all sorts of adult things.  I’ll live in it, I’ll work, I’ll pay bills, I’ll deal with whatever.  But I will find joy in the small things.  I will make up silly stories sometimes.  I will spend a friday night watching a disney movie.  I will read bedtime stories to anyone who will listen.  I will get excited about tire swings.

One day I would like to….

(this is in no particular order)

1.  conduct a symphony orchestra

2.  compose something that’s actually good

3.  live somewhere in europe.  Or at least visit for a semi-extended period of time.  I’ve GOT to go to Vienna at some point.  And I’d really like to see Romania again.   And be in England long enough to aquire an accent

4.  get married/kids/all that jazz…actually really excited about being a grandparent.  Is that weird?  I will tell when-i-was-your-age stories to my grandkids all the time.  but not the ones that guilt trip you into eating your vegetables.  just fun ones

5.  know what i’m supposed to be doing with my life

6.  learn how to swing dance.  (this could be a disaster.  but i don’t care)

7.  have time to read for fun again.

8.  grow old, but somehow never let go of the 10 year old kid inside of me (I want to always be excited about tire swings).

9.  learn how to play a fiddle.  i mean, i’d like to learn a bit of violin as well…

10.  be able to look back on my life and say to myself, “yeah….yeah, this has been good.”  and then just smile.

If you had told me….

I would have laughed in you face if you had told me at the beginning of my senior year of high school that a year from them I would be going to school in Michigan as a music education major.

I would have denied vehemently if you had told my high school self that I would one day not believe that the account of creation in the Bible was not literal.

I would have called you crazy if you had told me a year ago that I would be having some of the conversations i’ve been having lately so soon.

I would have smiled if you told me i was beautiful.  At any time.

I would have been incredibly excited if you told me that during college I would visit Hungary, Romania, Ukraine, and China.  (Literall, jumping for joy)

I would have laughed uproriously if you had told me I would play tuba in an ensemble at any point in time before last semester.

I would have been in awe if you told me that I would conduct an orchestra playing the first half of the first movement of Beethoven’s 5th symphony during my college career.

You know….life is fun.  It’s hard sometimes.  It sucks sometimes.  but sometimes it is SO good, and really, you never know what it’s going to throw at you.  That can be good and bad, I suppose…but it makes for some really great stories.  I’ve changed a lot since High School.  Perhaps “changed” is not the right word exactly…I’ve grown a lot since high school.  I’m still who I was then…but I’m able to be myself more comfortably now.  I hide a little less.  I speak up a little more.  I am not afraid to admit that I get really excited when given the chance to play on a tire swing, and one of my favorite pastimes of late is watching disney movies with my roommate.  there is a child in the heart of me.  that doesn’t stop adulthood from knocking at my door daily though, and with the future looming ever nearer in the future…yeah, I have ideas about what’s there…but they’re some big broad ideas.  I lack details.  It will be interesting to see how it all ends up happening.  It will be interesting to see a couple years from now what has happened, and to be able to think back and say, I would have laughed if someone had told me that would happen….

God is good.  I have faith.

Conglomeration

I am seriously lacking in motivation recently.  I don’t want to be in school.  I’m tired of it.  I’m ready for change, ready to move on, ready to leave the world of student-hood.  Of course I don’t know what I’ll be doing after that…so in that sense, at least, I am very much not ready.  But…oh I’m just so tired of it.

Sometimes I miss people a lot.  It makes my heart ache a little.

I read The Little Prince to my roommate as a bedtime story over the last few nights….it was really good.  She enjoyed it a lot.  We might start on the Chronicles of Narnia next….

I’ll be playing Zoomtube at Fall Music Festival as a soloist this year.  I can’t wait to see/hear people’s reactions….

I’m going to compete in the concerto competition this year.  There are 4 or 5 winners chosen who get to play their concerto with the orchestra.  Oh, that would be SO cool…

I’m going on a church college group retreat this weekend.  Sunday, to be specific.  I think it will be good.

I need to buy a new Bible.  Mine is falling apart.  Literally.  Like, my first page of Genesis is not actually attached anymore.  This is a problem…I need to decide which translation I want.  I feel like I’ve heard good things about the new american standard version….suggestions, anyone?

I wish I played my guitar more.  I wish I was good at it…(I probalby would be if I played it more)

I am not going to set my alarm tonight.  I am just going to sleep for as long as my body needs to.  It is going to be wonderful

Childlike

Today I went to church.

The sermon was about having childlike faith, and what that means.  what are these qualities that children carry with them so organically, yet we lose as we grow older?  In many ways, I am still like a child.  I do find joy in small things.  I like to play on swings.  I like stepping on crunchy leaves in the fall.  I’m just silly.  Kind of a lot.  But here’s where I need to be more like a child: children trust.  If an adult tells a child something, they believe it.  And they have no problem relying on others for practically everything, and trusting unwaveringly that their needs will be fulfilled.  I want to trust Jesus like that…so that there is no question in my mind that everything will actually be ok.  That I will have everything I need.  I will be cared for, provided for.  Children are dependent, and do not apologize for being so.  Adults are independent, and very often have too much pride to ask for help even when they do really need it.

I am independent.  I’m not trying to say I need to depend on my parents for everything the rest of my life; just that I need to be able to depend on others and God and not try to do everything by myself.  I do that sometimes.   maybe more than I would care to admit.  But I’m learning.

Also, I really enjoy conducting.  And I love orchestras.  And i want to take violin lessons one day, so I can actually know things about string instruments.